I'm writing this post to explain why eloping was the BEST decision for us and to also give you some ideas as to how it could be a good idea for you too!
Wedding Photos: Alysha Jayne Photography
1. It's Cheaper, of course
We spent about 5k on our wedding and that's including the $2,400 I spent on my dress and alterations. We had the money saved up and didn't go into debt. It was sooooooo nice beginning our marriage not having to worry about the dents in our accounts that we had created. Imagine beginning your marriage having the burden of paying off so much of your wedding. Gross.
2. NO DRAMA!!!
Not a single person will be there to make you feel guilty about not spending enough time with them. You won't deal with any overly rowdy guests, wedding crashers, catastrophe's, uninvited guests, venue mishaps, nothing. The only things you will be worrying about are getting yourselves ready, get your legal documents done, and to the place where you want to be married.
3. No Alcoholics
How often is it that one of the biggest stories from a wedding was that so-and-so got too drunk and made a scene? It's a stereotype for a reason; because it happens all too frequently. And after a while, the bride and groom usually laugh about it and add it to the memories. In the end, that never truly ruins your wedding, but it does take away from the happiness you were feeling for the day and add stress. It is a pain when your guests can be too immature to handle their alcohol or even use your wedding as and excuse to "get wasted." The wedding is about celebrating the future and union of you and your betrothed, not your guests and wedding party trying to relive their college years.
This was one of the biggest issues I was worried about when planning our initial wedding. I went through my phases of partying as a young adult but I'm above that now and didn't want it at my wedding. I also didn't want my wedding being someone's excuse to get smashed.
How about the stress of planning for the drunk people? Do you have to have the reception close to a hotel for them? Are you going to have to deal with getting them an uber? Not to mention, you have to get some place that has a bar and a liquor license. You have to pay for the bartenders. Are you offering open bar? Because that could rack you up quite a bit too. Or maybe you just have to tip the bartenders for the night.
Lots to think about and pay for...
4. No Spotlight-Stealers
Let's not forget about those random posts we see about people getting proposed to at other peoples weddings. Unbelievable. I wouldn't mind sharing my day IF ASKED ahead of time, but for it to go from everyone being excited about the bride and groom to the spotlight shifting and all the guests turning toward being excited for the recently engaged...how awkward...and downright rude. You have 364 other days of the year to propose to someone, pick any one of those.
Also how lazy!!! You're proposing to someone and you decide to use someone else's hard work to have the "perfect setting" for your proposal? Now that's just lame. If my husband would have proposed to me at someone's wedding (he would never have in a million years), it would have been a no for me, dog.
5. No Ridiculous Requests
Guest: "Can I bring my boyfriend I just started dating two days ago?"
Bride: "No, the food and rsvp's have already been counted."
Guest: "Please, he can eat before!"
Anyone heard these? How about the:
Guest: "I really would like to bring so-and-so because we are still together."
Bride: "I would really prefer not. Your relationship has been off and on a lot and she doesn't even like me."
Guest: "Yeah but it's really weird if I can't bring her and is gonna cause a lot of issues."
I remember when I was planning my wedding, how much anxiety I got about having to be ridiculously firm with people's requests. No one should make you feel guilty for not wanting people you can't trust or who aren't genuinely happy for you at your wedding. Why would you want to pay for their plates? Does that bring you any joy?
6. You Have A Photographer to Yourselves for a Day
This was one of the best parts! Our photographer flew down with us, and got to spend the day traveling around capturing our day. No stuffy group pics, just us and scenery and creative ideas! We were even able to get down and dirty with our attire and no one could make us feel bad!
We found a beautiful fountain hidden away and my photographer asked if we could get in the fountain. It was just crazy enough and we love crazy so of course we did! It was sprinkling all day anyways so why not? The pictures did not disappoint!
7. No Rush
Things can get booked up so fast by others getting married that the perfect wedding you want to create might have to wait another year to get the venue you want, the season, AND the date. Is it really that necessary to have to put off your special day because you can't make it perfect for yourself or accommodating enough for your guests? No. Life is uncertain. And while I will never say it's a good idea to rush through to your special day, no one wants to get another Dundee Award for the Longest Engagement.
8. No Expectations
I've been with many friends planning weddings and it's always the same. They have to deal with so much stress and anxiety because they have to live up to their family's or guests expectations. My first helpful suggestion when listening to them vent about the stress is "You guys could always elope. It's a less stressful option."
Their reply is almost ALWAYS one of the following:
"Yeah but my mom really wants all the family there."
"Yeah, but I promised my childhood best friend she could be in the wedding."
"Yeah but our out of state family really wants to be there."
"Yeah but it's hard getting my inlaws to agree with that."
It's always for someone else, and never for the benefit of the couple getting married. Your wedding isn't some thing you put on and cater to everyone for. Everyone should be catering to YOU and what YOU feel comfortable with at the event YOU are paying for.
This can even happen when you have parents paying for things for your wedding. Some parents will only pay for weddings under conditions that they choose and you have to watch out for that as well. Is their money really worth letting them have and do certain things that you're uncomfortable with?
9. Your Date is ALWAYS Available
If you've helped plan a wedding or planned your own, you know there will always be at least one date issue. You can't have "x" date because it's so-and-so's birthday, or the venue isn't available, or that's to close to your sister's due date, the list goes on.
But when it's just you two getting hitched, it can literally be ANY date you want and no one can object. It can be on a Thursday under a tree if you want and you won't have anyone trying to sway you to a different date.
We, as a matter of fact, DID get married on a Thursday under the Tree of Life. And it was perfect! Prior, our first date was on the 23rd of April. For our first year, we celebrated every month on the 23rd hitting a milestone. On our one year anniversary, he proposed to me. We wanted our wedding date to also be on a 23rd date and it was really just any month we wanted. No matter what day of the week, what time of day. No catering needed to be ordered, no venue open. All we needed where the plane tickets, the hotel, a photographer, and the officiant!
10. A Honeymoon and Wedding All in One!
I feel like this one is self explanatory lol