I would say growing up is the most challenging thing you will do in life. Going from kid to adult, having to make all those difficult adult choices, having to decide where your life will go, having to reinvent yourself to survive, it’s pretty hard to do. And you aren’t alone in it.
All your friends are going through the same thing. Going from high school to college life, you realize that you’ve drifted apart from a few of your friends. You can’t quite pinpoint when this happened but you know you don’t talk as much as you use to. “When did my friendship with this person get put on the back burner? We use to be so close.”
Not all the friends you had in high school will last. That’s neither a bad thing, or a good thing. It’s just life. You had to make the choices to get you where you needed to go and so did they. And sometimes where you both are going are two different directions.
I like to look at my friendships as a big ol’ bus ride to where I need to go in my life. All my friends get on and off as I'm driven through life. And as much as it sucks, some of them have to get off your life bus because they are no longer going in the direction you are going. Sometimes you have to kick people off your bus for causing too much trouble. Not everyone is meant to be with you for your whole life. When it’s their stop, they must get off the bus.
But sometimes years later, you find that your friend might jump back onto your bus. Life is funny that way.
I’ve been thinking about friendships a lot lately. Sometimes it’s easy to take your friends for granted. Not that you never appreciated them but if you ever find yourself going through a hard time and realizing that you have no friend to call to help you through it because you’ve all gone your separate ways for whatever reason, that really does just suck.
Having a kid can really prove who your true friends are. I’ve lost some friends because of it. Not in a bad way, but just that I have priorities now and responsibilities and they don’t. I can’t just go someplace on a whim like they can. We were at two different times in our lives and it’s kinda time to move on.
Every now and then, I come across someone that says something along the lines of “well I don’t see them trying to be a part of my life, why should I talk to them?” Yeah, that’s not how life works, buddy. What if your friend is thinking that same thing? Then you’d never talk to each other! Don’t be that person. If you want to talk to your friend, swallow your pride and talk to your friend.
Recently I’ve had other friends come back into my life. An old high school bestie friend that I had a falling out with just out of high school came back into my life which is awesome. Over six years since high school and it’s almost like nothing has changed. We are still super goofy around each other. Those are the best kind of friends. Other great friends I’ve met through my guy friends.
One instance I met a great friend through a guy’s (who I almost dated in high school) girlfriend. I was pretty hurt back in junior year when out of nowhere he started dating this girl after leading me on, but I'm glad we never dated because his girlfriend was a good friend for a while and is a great person but her best friend became a good friend of mine. We don’t talk too much anymore but we get together when we can. I value her friendship very much. Another friend of mine I ended up meeting because a good guy friend of mine started dating her. She is definitely one of the most genuine, level headed people I've ever met and we occasionally talk about how we want to live next to each other so our kids can grow up together.
It’s odd the places life will take you and the friends that it brings you. Don’t for one second believe that you don’t have friends or that you will never find like minded people. You WILL. Just get out there and be open. Do what you do and go where you need to go. The right people will find YOU.