You are the MOST important person in your child's life
When I was younger, I had always dreamed of being in a semi-successful career, making pretty decent money, then staying home once I had children to devote my time to them.
And then I had a kid.
Then I thought "I don't want my son to see how I gave up on my hopes and dreams. I want my son to admire that despite how hard it was, I never gave up on where I wanted my life to go. I want him to be able to look up to me and to know that there is never a reason you should give up on a dream.
I want him to know that when he came along, he wasn't a reason for me to quit, but a bigger reason for me to push myself even harder, to work harder.
I want him to see that I didn't give up for him, but that I kept going for him. I want him to see what it looks like for someone to actually reach their goals, how happy their lives can be.
This world is full of a lot of bad, I want him to see that you CAN overcome bad times and bad people. I want to be a good example of perseverance. When life throws unexpected things at you, you CAN keep going. Don't give up on your goal, just change your path. All rivers lead to the sea, just find a different river. When your plan doesn't work, try something different.
Always have a backup plan, and a backup plan for your backup plan. Know your exits too. If there's one thing you can count on in life, it's that it's going to throw you curve balls. You wont always expect them, or be prepared for them, but the best way to deal with these is to have a positive attitude and that everything in life really depends on how you look at it. With the right mindset, you can accomplish anything.
Everyone knows how much it hurts when you are obligated to give up on something. But you shouldn't have to feel that way. I've vowed to not let myself live with any regrets in life. I'm keeping that promise to myself and with that, I also vow to never let my son see me give up on myself. I don't want him to even think that is an option. As long as you keep trying, you have never truly failed.
I want him to know that it's a lot of hard work. I don't mind him seeing me go through struggles every now and then. That will show him that everyone does go through struggles and that its not always easy. If hes going through a hard time, I want him to know he can come to me for advice because he will know that I went through it once too.
I want to be all the examples of a good partner and mother that he would think of when he decides its time for him to find a girl and settle down with her. As a parent, you are your child's first and most important role model. I don't want him to think that every mother should stay home with the children and give up her life, and he better not expect that from his future wife and mother of his kids.
I want him to be used to being around independent women that want to work and to not be afraid of them like most men. I want him to know that that is something to respect in a woman. I don't want him to be afraid of a goal-driven woman, but to instead seek out those women. I don't by any means expect him to find someone just like me but I want him to know what type of woman would be able to handle a household, and how to differentiate the women that respect themselves and the women that just want attention.
He is only just a baby now but one day he will be a man and out on his own. I look into those big eyes and see all the things he is learning every day; often wondering what he's learning that i'm not aware of. I look at that big grin and see how great of a person he could be. It's my job to make sure he turns out as such. I won't be there to hold his hand when he's on his own.
It's funny how differently you look at the world when you have to raise a human in it. It's funny how much it makes you think, and how much harder it makes you work... but it's all worth it.